The All New Innocence Test
I posted this on Facebook last year, and I just found it again and thought I would post it on my blog for all to see…
Here’s how it works: You start with 100%. For each thing on the list you have done, take away 2%. At the end, you have a score which says how innocent you are. Then you have to email everyone you know within ten seconds, otherwise really bad things will happen to you. And you’re not allowed to break the rules. Because then you’ll probably die, or get really bad wind, or something.
- Spoken to a member of the opposite sex
- Said the word ‘sex’
- Killed someone
- Tickled someone’s feet
- Laughed at a dirty joke
- Told a dirty joke
- Eaten ice cream
- Stayed up until 10 pm
- Stayed up all night
- Taken a photograph
- Taken a photograph of a member of the opposite sex
- Been in a photograph
- Eaten After Eight Mints before Eight O’clock
- Skinned a Rabbit
- Skinned up
- Know what ‘skinned up’ means
- Driven a car
- Crashed a car
- Crashed a car into a swimming pool
- Been to France
- Eaten blue cheese
- Whipped a horse
- Whipped some cream
- Licked whipped cream off a member of the opposite sex
- Not kept the Sabbath Day holy
- Played football
- Played hockey
- Played hookey
- Played the fool
- Drunk Whiskey
- Drunk Meths
- Drunk Drain Cleaner
- Got Drunk
- Been arrested
- Been killed
- Been killed by a member of the opposite sex
- Said a naughty word
- Invented a naughty word
- Shaken someone’s hand
- Shaken someone’s martini
- Been to the cinema
- Been to the cinema with a member of the opposite sex
- Used a recording device while at the cinema
- Been told you have nice shoes
- Had sex
- Worn socks
- Carried sacks
- Thought ‘Work Sucks!’
- Hit a six
- Been a nun
- Kissed a nun
